The Minecraftian Interviews!
by Gamerwhogames
Summary: Join Gamerwhogames and her best friend Crisper as they take on the most unforgettable cast! Each interview is reader-driven, so be sure to leave questions and dares for your fav-characters! Unlike the Random Roulette, these chapters have more direct control! Anything can happen! Never forghetti yo momma's spaghetti! REQUESTS ARE OPEN! INCLUDES ALL MCSM CHARACTERS! Thanks, everyone!
1. Interview!

Gamer: Hello, everyone! Welcome to "The Minecraftian Interviews"! I'm here with my buddy, Crisper! Say hi, Crisper!

Crisper: Hey, everyone!

Gamer: So, for now our little chat room is empty… Well, I guess this means it's closing time. Well, to you readers _(yes, I am breaking the fourth-wall. Sorry bout dat!)_ , be sure to leave plenty of questions and dares for your favorite MC:SM characters, and give questions and dares to Crisper, Ocelott, Itscartooncookie, LonelyWhistler and I _(Gamerwhogames)_. They can be about virtually anything, but nothing too inappropriate, now. Think about the kids.

 _Crisper and Gamer take a moment to think about the kids_

Crisper: Man… those kids are sooo crazy.

Gamer: I know, right? Well, see you soon! Close it, Crisper!

Crisper: (closes it)


	2. Gillott and Yo Mama's Spaghetti

Gamerwhogames: Hey, everyone! And welcome to #1 of The Minecraftian Interviews! I'm your host, Gamerwhogames, and this is my buddy Crisper!

Crisper: Hey, everyone! I'm Crisper! Hit me!

Gamerwhogames: Today we're going to be answering some questions from Mysticsummer7! Alright _(pulls out a card)_...

Jesse: _(whispering)_ Please be Jestra, please be Jestra….

Lukas: _(is triggered)_

Gill: Guys I have a joke! Why did the chicken cross the road?

Isa: Why?

Gill: It was trying to get away from Koo-Koo Aiden!

 _(Everyone except for Aiden starts laughing)_

Aiden: :'(

Gamerwhogames: _(eyes turn red)_ LEAVE SENPAI ALONE!

 _(stunned silence)_

Gamerwhogames: _(eyes back to normal)_ Alrighty! Mysticsummer7 asks Gill…

 _Do you still like Ocelott?_

 _(everyone stares eagle-eyes at Gill who is visibly shifting in his seat)_

Gill: Uhh….

Ocelott: HE DOESN'T WUV ME? EEEUUUHHHHH! _(melts into the floor)_

Gill: No! Ocelott, come back!

Itscartooncookie: It's alright. I've got this… _(clears throat)_ I hop in a cucumber because I'm scared like that!

Ocelott: _(reappears)_ Me too!

 _(stunned silence)_

Ellegaard:... is this gonna be a regular occurrence?

Gill: I still like you!

Ocelott: Yay! _(kisses Gill)_

Everyone: Awww….

 _(When all seems well, Ocelott lets loose a lion roar and tackles her unsuspecting lover to the ground)_

 _(Two hours later….)_

 _(We see an ambulance shipping Gill away)_

Gamerwhogames:... love hurts, I guess….

Jesse: But not as much as this will.

 _(Jesse throws a lego on the floor)_

Petra: A lego. We're all trembling in our boots.

Jesse: Wait for it….

 _(At that moment, Ivor walks barefooted into the room. Jesse squeals with excitement and Ivor sends him a weird look)_

Ivor: Um… nice to see you too…?

 _(Ivor walks right past the lego, and Jesse's face falls. Literally.)_

Petra: _(shocked)_ Wow! That _does_ look painful!

 _(Olivia sighs and hands Axel ten dollars)_

Maya: What's that for?

Olivia: A little bet I made. I said 'Hey, Axel! I'll bet Jesse's gonna do something randomly painful today!'

Lukas: _(passes out)_

Olivia:... Curses…. _(hands Axel fifty dollars)_

Maya: What was THAT?!

Axel: Olivia and I made a bet that Lukas would pass out today. Looks like I was right.

Maya: What kind of a bet _was_ that?

Axel: A profitable one!

Gamer: Stop, guys! Pay attention and put that money away before Reuben sees! When I was holding ten dollars, Reuben nearly chewed my hand off!

Jesse: _(stroking Reuben)_ Oh, Reuben just doesn't like you.

Gamer: _(is stunned)_

Reuben: _(pig noises)_

Gamer:... oh, o-okay… um…. Shall we go on?

Reuben: No.

 _(stunned silence)_

Jesse:... That's a good boy! _(starts rubbing Reuben)_ Who's a good boy? Who's a good little piggy-wiggy?

Reuben: You are!

 _(Jesse turns into a pig)_

Jesse: Reuben, we've talked about this.

Reuben: _(winks)_

Gamer: Next question!

Aiden: The pig said 'no', Gamer. Besides, I'd rather frolick. _(starts rolling around on the floor)_ Look at me! I'm a jelly-bean! Wooo!

Maya: Aiden needs his nap.

Isa: Aiden needs more jail-time.

Gill: Aiden needs… dat boi.

Gamer: Where'd YOU come from?!

Gill: Oh, I, uh-

Ocelott: HUBBY!

Gill: BLAZE RODS!

 _(the two run and hug each other, but Gill ends up hugging Ocelott lifeless)_

Gill:... oops.

Aiden: Oh shoot! I've fallen and I can't waddup!

Gamer: No more 'dat boi' memes. They're very not-wow. Much annoy. Alright. Next question comes from Destinywho asks…

 _What would happen if you did forghetti yo mama's spaghetti?_

Magnus: _(speaking like an Italian)_ Never forghetti yo mama's spaghetti.

Jessica (Fem!Jesse): Knees are weak, palms are sweaty, arms are heavy. Mom's spaghetti.

Isa: We don't have 'yo mama's spaghetti' in Sky City.

Milo: Sure we do! It's… it's just that…

Ocelott: Flabberghasted! It's when a Ghast flabbers you. Flabberghasted.

Olivia: How PETRAfying!

Gamer: Guys, I believe we're straying from the point at hand.

Soren: Scientific analysis draws me to believe that if you forghetti yo mama's spaghetti, you will end up as a gory messghetti.

Magnus: Oh. You stare at Endermen for a living and suddenly you can draw a scientific analysis?

Nohr: I forgot my mama's spaghetti once. Ended up with a huge hole in my forehead.

 _(stunned silence)_

Nohr: Boomtown humor! I was joking! A-actually, it was much worse than that. You see, I _(censored)_ , but right after that _(censored, censored, such and such) (cenSORENed)_.

 _(stunned silence)_

Gamer: That's horrible. Kids at home, never forghetti yo mama's spaghetti.

Dan: I knew this one kid who forghetti his mama's spaghetti. I think he was… nine?

Gamer: I'm sure he was.

 _(stunned silence)_

Gamer:... oh Dan. I am SO sorry!

Ivor: Here's an ancient book about yo mama's spaghetti! _(opens the book for all to see)_ It says here…

 _If you forghetti yo mama's spaghetti,_

 _Befallen on you is a curse._

 _If you think you don't like yo mama's spaghetti._

 _Forghetti it, this is the worst._

 _You'll grow crazy hair. You'll be such a scare._

 _Your knees will be weak, your arms heavy._

 _Your palms will be sweaty, you'll vomit as well._

 _Don't forghetti yo mama's spaghetti._

 _(stunned silence)_

Ivor: Oooh! Paper! _(starts eating the paper)_

Gamer: Ivor! What are you DOING?!

Ivor: It's so delicious! It came from such huge trees… I love it! _(eats his hands)_

Soren: Is Ivor gonna be okay?

Magnus: Most likely. I mean, _you_ made it.

Soren: _(confused glare)_

Ivor: And these were the arms that are attatched to the hands that punched the large trees to get the paper! I love them too! _(eats his arms)_

Stampy: Have you tried cake? It's infinitely better than… limbs.

Ivor: _(who is lacking an entire upper body, head included)_ And these are the legs that walked me to the large trees to get the paper! I love, love, LOVE these! _(somehow eats his legs, rendering no Ivor)_

 _(stunned silence)_

Gamer:... I don't think he'll like that cake, Stampy.

Stampy: Oh dear… what do we do?

Reginald: _(dressed like a cucumber)_ Look at me! I'm fruit! _(falls backwards and starts rolling around on the floor)_

Crisper: That's not fruit.

Isa: Reginald, get off the floor, take of that RIDICULOUS costume, and behave yourself.

Reginald: Yes, Founder. _(takes off the outfit and puts it on Ocelott)_

Ocelott: Oooh! A carmacouloush shnook! _(explodes violently)_

Gamer: This is getting WAY out of hand! Ugh… well, looks like it's beark-time. We'll be right back after these commercials. Until then, leave more questions! Close it, Crisper!

Crisper: _(closes it)_


	3. Emarrassin!

Gamerwhogames: Hey, everyone! And welcome back to-

Crisper: Magnus's Butt!

 _(stunned silence)_

Crisper:... what? It could be a TV show.

Gamerwhogames: _(sighs and rolls eyes)_ Welcome back to the Minecraftian Interviews! I, of course, am your host Gamerwhogames, with my buddy here Crisper. It's the usual shabang, so-

Crisper: It's only episode two, Gamer. It's not usual.

Gamer:... whatever. Well, today we have a question for… everyone! Come on, everyone!

 _(everyone slowly walks on set, only to collapse seconds later)_

Jesse: _(panting)_ By the way… *pants* TheRealRedGaming wants to know… _(pants)_ WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?!

Ocelott: Candyball splurgles! Wappily doo! _(smurfs into a hamburger)_

Gill: Best girlfriend ever! She's funny, makes me laugh, and she cooks! _(eats the hamburger)_

Gamer: Well, what just happened is what I like to call crackfic. So… I don't really know.

Lukas: Something about Koo-Koo Aiden, passing out, random betting. Mom's spaghetti.

Magnus: Never forghetti yo mama's spaghetti.

Gamer: Oh! Magnus, Mario says you'd make a fine Italian man.

Magnus:... _(randomly grows a mustache)_ It's a-me! a-Magnus! (starts hopping around) Look at me!

 _(We all watch as Magnus enjoys his new Mario-powers. Eventually, Gamer pulls out a question card)_

Gamer: Well, KcdragonsJesse asks everyone:

 _What is your most embarrassing moment?_

Crisper:... I remember KcdragonsJesse! She wrote that story on Quotev, what was it… MCSM Randomness!

Gamer: I like that story. Anyways, who wants to get embarrassed first?

Maya: I'll go first. So, once when I thought I was texting Aiden, it turned out that I was… uh… texting his grandfather instead.

 _(stunned silence)_

Aiden:... a-actually, it was my _great_ grand _mother_.

 _(horribly stunned silence)_

Maya: It was?!

Gamer: What were you texting about?

Maya: Um… that's a whole other embarrassing moment, so I think I'll pass.

Gamer: Riiiight. Who wants to go next? How about you, Jesse?

Jesse: Why me?! Why not Olivia?!

Gamer: It's you because everyone here likes you! Well… _(eyes Aiden)_ except for… uh… _(looks away)_ Nevermind.

Jesse: I think my most embarrassing moment was when-

Lukas: Jesse! Don't! We said that would be an inside joke!

Jesse: Inside joke…? Oh, Lukas! I'm not telling them about the time Axel and I found Aiden helping you apply your hemorrhoidal-cream! I'm telling them about the time I accidentally walked outside wearing underwear and socks!

 _(stunned silence)_

Olivia:... wait… you two saw… wha?

Lukas: *facepalms*

Jesse: Oops….

Axel: It was really… non-unseeable. _(throws up in a corner)_

Aiden: You're telling me! _(throws up in a toilet)_

Gill: _(throws up on the floor)_

Gamer: Woo! Two with one stone!

 _(stunned silence)_

Gamer: What? It could be a milestone!

 _(with that, we see Gamer pick up a fist-sized rock. After taking aim, she chunks it at Magnus. The rock ricochets off of his bald head and hits Gill in the face)_

Gamer: See? Two hits. One stone.

 _(at that, the rock somehow levitates off the ground before whirring around the room, hitting everyone in sight, men and women)_

Crisper: THE HECK, GAMER! THE HEEECKK?!

Ocelott: It's just like my birthday! Wow! _(the rock hits her in the face)_

Gamer: Teh-hehe… not my fault.

 _(the rock continues to zoom around the room before Petra hits it with a stone-pickaxe)_

Lukas: Yay!

 _(Petra blows off her pickaxe like it's a gun)_

Gamer: Well, hopefully that doesn't happen again.

 _(Isa walks behind Gamer, a threatening scowl on her face)_

Gamer: Oh, hey, Isa!

 _(to our shock, Isa grabs Gamer by the neck, throwing her to the ground. Not even giving the interviewer time to react, she pulls out an iron shovel and starts beating her butt with it)_

Gamer: NUUUUU! NUUUUUU!

Isa: Don't- _(wham!)_ -ever- _(wham!)_ -do that- _(wham!)_ -again!

Lukas:... wow. She is NOT happy.

Aiden: _(is having PTSD)_

Crisper: While Gamer's getting her beating, um… how about you, Gill?

Gill: Me? Well, _my_ most embarrassing moment was when I decided to cheat my boss out of all of his chocolate.

Gamer: Why'd you do that?

Gill: So I could give it to his girlfriend and woo her away from him!

Ocelott: So there's another one? Eeeuuhhhh!

Gill: No, Ocelott! She's gone, I swear! She's… dead, actually. When I tried to woo her into my arms, I, uh… ended up wooing her off a cliff.

 _(stunned silence)_

Gill:... Look at my chest! My boss punished me!

 _(lifts up his shirt to show us the hairiest chest this world's ever seen)_

Aiden: _(whispering to Axel)_ Isn't he going to take off the sweater?

Axel: _(shrugs)_

Jessica: That must feel... terrible.

Gill: You can touch it if you want.

 _(awkward silence)_

Petra: _(whispering to Jessica)_ I'll give you ten bucks to touch it and pretend to enjoy it.

Jessica: _(is shocked lifeless)_

Axel: _(whispering to Aiden)_ I'll give you _twenty_ bucks to tell him to take off the sweater.

Aiden: Okay. Gill, take off that sweater!

Gill: What sweater? (looks at his chest) Oh! Right!

 _(takes off the sweater, revealing a smooth chest)_

Petra: Why the heck do you wear that?!

Gill:... it reminds me of grandma's beard.

 _(stunned silence)_

Gill: Beardiness runs through my family. _All_ of my family.

Petra:... yeah... I'll just, uh...

 _(Petra goes to sit in a corner whilst the others continue to stare)_

Ivor:... There's an awkward silence! Get me some bacon! (runs out the room)

Reuben: _(offended squealing)_

Jessica: It's alright, Reuben. I've got you.

Jesse: Yeah, c'mere, buddy.

(they each grab an end of Reuben, Jessica getting his head, and Jesse getting his butt)

Jesse:... um… let go of my pig.

Jessica: _Your_ pig?! This is _my_ pig! Hands off!

 _(the two start fighting over the helpless pig)_

Crisper: This is awkward… does anyone have bacon?

Petra: So, what? You can rub it on them and they'll stop fighting? Real mature.

Crisper: No. They'll see the bacon and be too shocked to keep fighting.

Olivia: Actually, I've got something better.

 _(Olivia grabs Petra and Lukas's hands, putting them together)_

Olivia: _(to Jesse and Jessica)_ Look! It's Luktra!

 _(Jesse and Jessica immediately stop fighting)_

Jessica: YOU! GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BOYFRIEND!

Jesse: LUKAS!... Uh, pretty much the same thing, 'cept with my girlfriend Petra.

 _(Lukas and Petra stop holding hands)_

Jesse:... oh! You try to make off with my girlfriend and you think it's just gonna end like that?! Don't think so! _(pummels Lukas to the floor)_

Lukas: JESSE! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! IT'S JESSICA I WANT!

 _(stunned silence)_

Jesse:... that sounded so weird. _(starts punching Lukas again)_

Jessica: AAAAAAAAHHH!

Petra: AAAAAAAAHHH!

 _(the two girls collide and begin to rip out each other's hair)_

Ivor and Gabriel: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Magnus: Stop fighting! You're acting immature!

Ellegaard: Why don't you sit down like civilized human beings and talk through your differences?

 _(stunned silence)_

Soren: That, coming from you two, sounds SOOO fake and hypocritical it almost makes me want to pee my pants.

 _(stunned silence)_

Gamer: I'm back.

Isa: Yeah.

Gamer: Ma butt's on fire. Anyone else got a humiliating experience? Woo! I've gotta lie down.

 _(Gamer lies down on the floor and Crisper starts fanning her with schedules)_

Soren: Well, when I was ten years old, I walked in on my parents at… the wrong time.

Gamer: Thank Notch I haven't experienced that! All of my friends say it makes them feel weird and they don't know what to do with their lives afterwards.

Lukas: Once, I walked in on two ocelots at the wrong time.

 _(stunned silence)_

Jessica: Wait, wha? Who were they?

 _(everyone gawks at Aiden, Maya and Gill)_

Lukas:... NO! NOT _THEM_! I'm talking about ocelots, as in the actual cats in wildlife and things.

Gamer: Phew! I thought you meant… oh, whatever. It's a good thing that's over with. Who else wants to go?

 _(nobody raises his hand)_

Gamer: Axel! You go next!

Axel: Wh-what? No! I already told you an embarrassing time! I walked in on Aiden helping Lukas with-

Gamer: AAH! Say no more! We get it! We get it! How about you, Olivia?

Olivia: Okay. One time, I-

Jesse: _(starts laughing)_ Redstonia, right?

Olivia: No! I'm not talking about that!

Ellegaard: _(starts laughing as well)_

Olivia: Seriously! That was a year ago!

Ivor: _(starts laughing)_

Magnus: _(slaps Ivor)_

Ivor: _(puppy eyes)_

Magnus: What?!

Gamer: Focus, everyone! Olivia, what's the time?

Olivia: High noon!

Gamer: _(slaps Olivia)_ No! What's your embarrassing time?!

Olivia: _(slaps Gamer)_ When I won a box of condoms at the Annual Redstone Fair!

 _(stunned silence)_

Crisper: Who'd you give them to?

Olivia: The ground, you fool!

 _('the ground, you fool' echoes throughout the building)_

Jesse:... interesting.

Lukas: No. Bad. Bad conversation.

Gamer: Looks like it's time for me to Baja Blast my head off next time I go to Taco Bell.

 _(Gamer collapses to the floor and melts into a juicy, delicious Big Mac)_

Jesse: _(to the reader)_ Look! Product placement! Isn't it annoying?

Gamer the Big Mac: Eat me! _(jumps into Ivor's mouth, gaining him an instant extra 30 pounds)_

Ocelott: Hahaha! Ivor's pregnant!

 _(stunned silence)_

Axel:... I swear I had a dream about this.

Jessica: Martin Luther King had a dream, too. But look at this nightmare we've developed.

Ocelott: Big lights everywhere! _(explodes violently)_

Gill: That's my girl! _(blows up as well)_

Petra: How swell! _(goes 'kaboom' like so)_

Lukas: Much bomb! _(self-destructs)_

Aiden: Very explode! _(pow!)_

Olivia: When common sense? _(boom!)_

 _(after a few more seconds of this insanity, Ivor finally throws up Gamer who is just as scared of the fact as he is of her)_

Gamer: The… heck?! _(sees all the explosions on the ground)_ Lonely, did you do this?

LonelyWhislter: :|

Gamer: Stop leaving random craters, it's not healthy!

LonelyWhistler: :|

Gamer: Alright. Who else wants to share? And make it snappy. 500 words more and it's a wrap.

Itscartooncookie: Well, once, I was dating this girl. So, I went over to her house to meet her brother… who actually turned out to be her boyfriend who was so friendly he _seemed_ like her brother… yet wasn't.

Jesse: That is lame.

 _(at the word 'lame', Lonely starts having flashbacks about his first love Bailey)_

Lonely: I wish to indulge in the lameness. _(sinks through the floor at random)_

Gamer:... hmm… I see… well, that's all the time we have for today! We'll continue asking around for embarrassing moments in part two of this ask. We've got a huge, crazy cast on our hands… until then!

Crisper: _(closes it)_


	4. Co-Writing News! Writingforevs87 Joins!

**Something you'll want to know! Remember Minecraft: Story Mode Randomness with OCs by Writingforevs87 (formerly Minecraftausllygirl)?**

 **Remember the chapter that she and I co-wrote a chapter with all my OCs? Well, she agreed to co-write a chapter with me!**

 **(confetti explodes)**

 **So, be sure to leave questions for your favorite OCs from her stories, and I'll see you in the next interview! Well, awayy!**

 **(rides away on a pink-sheep!)**


End file.
